BSA 204 W8 : I Know What To Do.

Okay so maybe I don't have to switch back to the Cursed Objects idea - maybe I can make the I Saw Hell script work.

I was really demotivated after the presentation, I felt like I had gone crazy - when I came up with the idea I thought it was so good, but presenting it I seemed like a crazy person. I remember some people who would always think some cringy things were really cool, one variation on their sad interests were demons and stuff along those lines.

 How had I got to the point where I was that person???

Anyway I chewed away on it and after questioning the entire direction of my life I finally came up with a solution. Well I realized what the problem was and from there I could fix it.

So what was the problem with my script idea?

Too few characters.

Hahahahaha.

But seriously. I complained before that I mentioned too many in my presentation which helped in confusing the audience, but I realised that a big reason the story isn't working for a series is because there are no characters really close to the protagonist who he can constantly interact with as the story developed. The doctor, nurse, each of the victims (evildoers) are passer-by's with who he never has to talk again if he were so inclined. I needed people who the character was forced to be with, all the TV show examples I mentioned have this in common (Walter White has a family and a partner, Dexter has a sister, Girlfriend and co-workers).

My character was existing in a bubble where he was never forced to deal with anyone on a long term basis. He didn't have anyone with whom his actions have consequences, no one he cared for.

The idea is that he is a big playboy type and doesn't have a girlfriend or wife, which means he also can't have his own family - that and he's not that old in my mind. So can't give him that, what I can do however is give him a brother, who he is staying with (since he blows his money on worldly pleasures and saves the rest) and who has a wife and daughter.

(This also allows me to incorporate a kid and monster in the cupboard scene which I've had in mind)

Immediately by adding these three characters there are hundreds of new possibilities, the relationships generate naturally and sources for conflict are aplenty.

The problem lied with how I originally conceived the idea I think, in the beginning it was a movie idea (a feature as I'm inclined to do) and I thought that I could just adapt it into a mini-series. But I don't think this works necessarily, even the After Life series I watched recently had a set of re-occurring side characters who gave the protagonist something to play off and care about.

I think it's a key element to writing a serialised story.
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New characters: 

Brother
Sister-in-Law
Niece - she also sees the demon and is afraid at night, she does something wrong in the story and lies about it to her parents, he covers for her at first, end of episode he tells her to tell the truth and the demon will go away, which is also when he decides to finally face up to it and see what it wants. 
Boss
Drug Dealer
One-off Girlfriend 
Goth girl - a highschool girl who also has the ability to see evil as he does, he meets her after the demon tries to tempt him in sleeping with another underage student who is particularly slutty. The demon firsts tempts him, and says its as a reward for killing the first victim(s) (which he feels terrible about) when he refuses the demon orchestrates a way for him to bump into her. This is when the goth girl nearby notices him and his supernatural companion. It can be a peak into a larger universe around him, where other demons exist and other people have the same sixth sense that he's been given.

Anyway so here is the new outline I've come up with: 

The pilot plays out in two timelines. The inciting incident of him waking up after going to Hell is front and center, it still starts here and expands out from there but at the same time we flick back and forth from it to the past before his overdose.

This gives me a chance to do all the heavy set-up work which can be uninteresting and leave the audience disengaging because the story doesn't seem to have a hook, but while the story is still moving forward. Christopher Nolan does this quite often (e.g. Memento and Batman Begins).

He wakes up after seeing hell, is told he died by the nurse. He talks to the doctor who is also as shady as him, accompanied by a flashback of him getting drugs from the doctor in the past.

All of the bits in the present sees him being haunted by the entity.

He goes home after the incident and is haunted by the entity, something his niece also seems able to see. Him coming home is juxtaposed to the past where he was living with the family and brought a girl home.

End of day one.

He goes into work the next day and asks for some days off, but is told that he is too valuable, well at least for one case. He gets some cases off, but has to continue with one particularly important one with a gang related client.

He goes to see his drug dealer who he confronts about the visions and stuff, also accompanied with flashback.

End of second day, goes home. Little girl starts being haunted.

Third day sees him going a bit crazy with the thing affecting his own mental health, he goes to see all the individuals from the first day again, on a mission to sue the doctor and screw over the drug dealer, until either reveals they are responsible for his visions.

The demon keeps haunting the niece, neither him or her get any sleep.

End of Day Three.

Morning of the fourth he tells the girl to repent for what she did wrong and the demon will leave, he goes to talk to it and it talks back.

The episode ends here.

Next episode can see him being told what he has to do and being given the power to see evil, have fun and games with this newfound power and have him decide who his first victim will be by the end of the episode.

Third episode sees him planning and executing his first kill. 

Fourth episode is the after math, the consequences that follow are established and he meets the young goth girl.

Each episode will have a main theme it explores, the first one is Blame, the second might be Secrets, the third Justice or something and the fourth Consequences. I have a very good idea of where the series has to go, but with all the new stuff I have no idea how long it'll be and each addition has so much story potential. This is just the rough plan I came up with today.

That's one thing that came a lot with this addition - story potential has exploded.