BSA 204 W12: I Saw Hell 15 Page v. Treatment Act I



I found a document written by Terry Rossio about the writing of treatments in Hollywood:

http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp37.Proper.Treatment.html

I also looked up some treatment examples online and found some professional ones:

https://www.simplyscripts.com/treatments.html

This is an extract from a treatment written for E.T.:

INT: PATIO: NIGHT

Elliot walks past the ping pong table when he hears more noises in the
backyard. Again he calls out the name "Harvey."

[This generates tension and suspense in the audience.]

With the pizza box in hand, Elliot walks past the patio table and towards
the shed in the backyard. A bright crescent moon hangs in the night sky.

[This adds enchantment to the scene.]

There is a mist in the air, and a bright light shines in the shed. Elliott
places the pizza box on the ground as he approaches the shed. He's still
carrying the baseball and glove as he stands in front of the shed's
entrance. He tosses the ball into the shed. After a few seconds the ball is
tossed back out at him and hits him on the foot.

[This is the payoff to the setup of the baseball prop. This event surprises
both Elliott and the audience.]

Elliott becomes frightened, turns and steps on the pizza box as he runs
towards the house.

[This is the inciting event in Elliott's story: there is some creature
hiding out in his shed that will change his whole life.]

_______________________________________

I SAW HELL TREATMENT DRAFT #1


A nurse goes about her daily rounds when she hears screaming coming from one of the rooms. She goes to investigate this. 


It is David, his sheets lie next to the bed, he looks bewildered and lost.


The nurse puts down her clipboard and makes her way to him, asking what's wrong. 

He only gasps dryly, his words catch in his throats - his lips parched.


David motions for water and the nurse hands him a glass on a table close by. He drinks this in one continuous gulp. The nurse asks him what's wrong, why was he screaming?


He shakes his head and dismisses her inquiry, instead saying he wants more water. She goes to pour him another but he stops her, saying to bring the whole jug. She does so and he continues to drink this like a fish. She asks if he's okay and put her hand up to his forehead, she says that he is burning up. 


She says she'll get him something to help with this fever but he grabs her arm and stops her, demanding to know why he's there. She says that he suffered an overdose, he came out of surgery a day ago, he has been unconscious since the operation. 

He asks her if she's religious, whether she believes in all that heaven and hell stuff, she says she's a born again Christian. David asks the Nurse if she also sees the thing in the corner. She looks and sees nothing, David says there is a man on shadow standing in the corner of the room. She tells him he needs rest. He says he has to get out, unplug these tubes. She informs him she can't do that, he starts panicking, he needs to see the doctor right now. 
She tells him it's not good in his state to get up, he looks back at the corner, the demon stands there. She says she'll get the doctor to come down asap. He shakes his head and pulls the plugs out his arms and gets up. She tries to stop him but he's off in his gown through the door. 

They rush down the hallway, the nurse telling him he needs to go back to bed, he looks back and sees the demon also stepping into the hallway. He asks her which way B block is now, she doesn't tell him, still protesting, he sees a sign and recognizes it, making his way down the right.

During this she tries to take his temperature, but he rounds a corner into a waiting area and comes to a sudden halt. Backing back behind the wall. She's taking his temperature, through this he mumbles a question: why are they here?

She asks who, he says his brother and family. She says they are probably next of kin, he says they aren't supposed to be informed about these things, why were they informed? She says its a legal requirement, he says he has a deal with the doctor and then sneaks by, not getting spotted, although his brother looks over just too late.

He is so busy looking over there and then looking back to where the demon's shadow covers the corner wall that he walks right into a child. She screams "uncle David!" and he stammers. He says hi, she says she thought he was sleeping, he says he woke up and tries to shh her, he hears his uncle's voice calling for Emily.

 Never mind, he picks her up and says come on then. She asks him where they're going, he says to see the doctor, behind him his brother rounds the corner, shortly followed by the demon, which no one else seems able to see. 

His brother calls out to him, he ignores this. He yells wait and is joined by his wife asking what's happening. The brother says he needs to talk, David tells him not now. He asks David where he's going, Emily says to the doctor. 

The brother asks the nurse whether he's supposed to be up or not, she says not really, but he insisted. The brother and his wife start yelling after him, he's almost running now. 

They get to the door of the doctor's office, it says Dr. Graysmith, he knocks. There is no answer, the family approaches, he places the girl down and knocks louder. Yelling for the doctor, he enters anyway finding the doctor at his desk eating noodles. He almost chokes, from the other side his brother is talking to him, saying they have to talk to him. 

David asks the doctor what happened to him, the doctor swallows and says that he had an overdose. David asks if anything went wrong, was there anything strange. The doctor asks why he thinks so. He says he saw something, or rather has been seeing things. The doctor asks if its like hallucinations, asking what he saw, he says he doesn't know, he had a dream like he was in hell and has been seeing a shadow figure following him around. He asks again if there wasn't anything strange at all about the surgery. 

The doctor pauses for a moment, but relents. He says that David technically passed away for three minutes during the surgery - he died.


AD BREAK


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