BSA 204 W4 : A Small Sad and Pathetic Exercise in Writing

I tried writing the "I Saw Hell" pilot, this turned out very poorly. Some ideas I like - there are things that only generate once you start writing, like the sweating, need to drink water and high temperature that the character has, which I think is instantly interesting. Hardest thing about writing this - other than trying to figure how to show or describe Hell - was trying to write it like a web series (which made squeezing everything in very difficult, especially the demon haunting stuff which I had to do very quickly) and injecting the themes and motivations that I wanted also proved to be clunky.

Some of this isn't present in this version because I scrapped it and started again, but at one point he was running around the hospital and a shadow was chasing him which was the worst thing I've probably ever put on the page.

Personally I think it's terrible, but here it is anyway: